Being a Leader vs. Imposing One's Leadership

A new coaching client explained an increasingly common occurrence and posed a logical question: "Our manager wants us to work collaboratively and has not named a leader to a new project. How do I convince those less experienced than me that I am the leader?"

He emailed me before proceeding with what might seem an obvious path: Telling the others that, due to his experience (which, by the way, was more much extensive relative to his peers), he was going to step in and lead the project.

I asked him about his intention, and whether he thought his approach would increase the team's ability to work effectively and efficiently toward a successful outcome. While those questions were not specific answers, they did help him articulate an important opinion...not only did he think he should lead the project, but he didn't value his teammates' experience and therefore, their opinions.

You might be wondering what happened next.

Well, as with most dilemmas we face, it was a beautiful opportunity for him to gain insight into the gap between his hidden (or not so hidden) beliefs, intentions, and impact. If he proceeded by imposing his leadership on others, it would likely have caused dissension and a host of other 'side effects' not conducive to the best outcome for the project or himself. If instead, he offered his insights, listened intently to others' perspectives (not easy given his beliefs), helped create an atmosphere of high engagement and innovative thinking, and combined those behaviors with his advanced skill and experience... he was likely to be viewed as a leader. No immediate leader declaration, definitely more 'inner work,' in order to pull this off...but a viable approach that gives the team a greater chance of success, and him, quite possibly, an earned label of "leader."

Denise Verolini, PhD

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