Do Good Leaders Care What People Think of Them?

I admit it, I've always suffered from the need to be liked. At some point in my career, I was told that's a problem. If I care too much about what people think of me, I'll try to please everyone, and that's definitely a recipe for failure.

So does that mean the answer is No, good leaders don't care what people think of them? I've known leaders like this and even secretly admired them. It must be nice not to be burdened by what other people think of me. Decisions would be so much easier to make. Action would be so much easier to take. Ah, freedom. Except I don't want to be that guy. No one likes that guy.

So which way is better? The answer, at least on one level, is neither one. When caring what other people think means needing to be liked, or worrying about what they think, it's not a good thing. The impact that has on people is that you're timid, or unsure of yourself. On the other hand, not caring what others think, such that you act without regard to the impact it has on others, is a terribly ineffective way to lead.

The correct answer lives in that word "impact."

Great leaders care about the impact they have on other people.

All of your Leadership power comes via the impact you have on people. This is distinct and separate from your Management power, which comes from your hierarchical authority. You may be the boss, and that may give you the power to make people do your bidding, but you should never mistake that for your Leadership power. Tapping into your Leadership power dramatically increases your effectiveness, because people who want to work for you will always outperform people who have to work for you.

To know what impact you're having, you have to pay attention. You have to listen. You have to be curious about what people are thinking and feeling. This is not worrying whether people like you. This is caring about the human beings you're leading, caring what impact you're having, and ultimately, understanding that the impact you have determines your effectiveness as a leader. How people feel about you (and yes, what they think about you) plays a major role in how motivated they are, how much personal effort they invest, and how much they care about helping you.

Do you know what impact you're having on people? Do you care?

Mike Caracalas

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