Emotional Management Skills: What They Are and How To Develop Them
Emotional management is a set of skills that can help you react constructively to people or events. Learning how to manage your emotions can benefit your career by helping you make rational choices and develop relationships with others. Improving your emotional management skills may take time and effort, but it can have positive results in your professional life. In this article, we define emotional management skills, explain why they are important, list five key emotional management skills and provide you with tips to develop your own.
What are emotional management skills?
Emotional management skills are abilities that help you regulate your emotional responses to situations. They are a key part of emotional intelligence, which is a term that refers to a person's ability to identify and understand their own emotions and those of other people. Emotional management skills may take time and effort to develop, but they can help you become an effective professional and supportive teammate.
Why is it important to have emotional management skills?
Professionals who regulate their emotions might find it easier to act rationally in high-stress situations and make effective professional choices. Developing emotional management skills can help professionals in a wide range of industries and jobs, including leadership positions. Emotional management skills can help you perform many tasks, including:
Resolving conflict with colleagues or clients
Giving presentations or speaking publicly
Assisting customers
Leading performance evaluations
Training new teammates
Mentoring colleagues
Completing tasks under time constraints
Adapting to changes in project plans
Five key emotional management skills
Here are some emotional management skills that can help you develop professionally:
1. Self-awareness
Self-awareness is a skill that allows you to predict how a situation or person might affect you by understanding your own emotional state. It can allow you to observe your emotional reactions to situations and learn how to improve your responses. For example, if you understand that being prepared allows you to feel calmer and more confident at work, then you can take steps to ensure that you're as prepared as possible for the workday. Feeling secure in your work environment can lower your stress levels and make you more resilient to changes or obstacles.
2. Reflection
Reflecting allows you to discover why you had a certain emotional reaction to a situation or person and can help you resolve conflicts by separating the emotion from the situation. For example, if you had a conflict with a colleague about a decision they made while you were absent from work, it might help to reflect on whether you disagree with their decision or whether you feel insecure that you weren't present for the discussion. Knowing the cause of your feelings might help you reach a compromise with your colleague.
3. Acceptance
A key emotional management skill is the ability to accept your emotions without assigning a value to them, which can help you react rationally to a situation that's causing you to feel a certain way. By accepting your emotions, you can often recover from an emotional reaction more easily, allowing you to focus on the next task. Learning to accept your own emotions can also help you develop empathy towards others by relating your emotions to their own.
4. Perspective
Developing a sense of perspective can help you manage your emotions by placing them into context. For example, if you feel nervous before giving a presentation to an audience, you can put that emotion into perspective by recognizing that it's normal to feel some anxiety about public speaking and that many successful professionals feel this way. Perspective can remind you that emotions are a healthy response to situations and that you can overcome them to accomplish your tasks.
5. Empathy
Empathy is the ability to relate to how other people feel in a situation using your own experience. Using empathy in the workplace can help you build rewarding relationships with colleagues and prevent conflicts. You can use empathy to recognize when a colleague needs help managing their workload and understand when they become frustrated at an obstacle or delay. Understanding their feelings can help you work with them to create a solution to the problem.
How to develop emotional management skills
Here are some techniques you can use to develop your emotional management skills. Some of these techniques, like breathing exercises, can help you regulate your emotions during moments of stress or excitement. Others, like journaling, are regular practices that can help you improve your reaction to situations or people.
1. Find ways to express your emotions
Expressing your emotions freely outside of work can help you manage them during the workday. You might call friends or family members and talk to them about how you're feeling, which can also allow you to get some feedback or perspective on your experiences. If you're an artistic person, you might paint, draw or write to express your emotions.
2. Recognize what makes you feel good
Part of self-awareness involves identifying positive emotions and their causes. By recognizing the parts of your job that trigger positive emotions, you can build a strong sense of accomplishment in your work, which can make you more resilient when you encounter obstacles. Consider creating a list of the parts of your job that bring you satisfaction and hanging the list in your office or cubicle.
3. Give yourself space
When you're in a situation that triggers an emotional reaction, it can help to excuse yourself briefly. Putting physical space between you and a situation can help you regain your composure and allow you to exercise your skills of reflection. You can take a walk outdoors, but you can also walk to the water cooler or break room to get some space. If you work remotely, you can walk to a nearby window and look outside. Once you've gained some perspective on your emotions, you can often return to the situation calmly and find a solution.
4. Explore mindfulness
Mindfulness is a meditation technique that focuses on the sensations and emotions you feel in the moment. The goal of mindfulness exercises is to stay fully present in the moment and avoid thinking about future or past concerns. Mindfulness can calm you and help you develop a sense of perspective about your emotions and your daily tasks. You can start your meditation exercises by taking a few minutes at the beginning of every day to focus on your breathing and the sensations you feel in your desk chair or car.
5. Learn breathing techniques
Several breathing techniques can help you calm and regulate your feelings while you're in an emotional situation. By focusing on your breath, you can reduce the impact of the emotion on your body and mind, which may allow you to complete your task or resolve the problem. When you're doing a breathing exercise, inhale and exhale deeply and slow your pace. One common breathing exercise involves inhaling for a count of four, holding your breath for a count of two and then exhaling for a second count of four.
6. Keep a journal for your moods
Writing in a daily journal can be an effective way to understand your emotional responses and learn to manage them. When you're writing in your journal, include information on how you felt that day and what events triggered different emotional responses. You can re-read your journal entries to learn about your common emotional triggers, which can help you predict your responses to situations in the future.
7. Listen to podcasts or read books about emotional management
Many books and podcasts provide techniques to improve your emotional management, focusing on mental health or productivity. They can also give you information about the brain chemistry of emotional responses and other information that can help you understand your feelings. You can usually find these resources in the self-help section of a bookstore or podcast service.
8. Consider speaking to a professional
A licensed therapist can help you develop effective emotional management skills to maximize your productivity and build a healthy work life. They may perform individual therapy or lead support groups for a wide range of situations. Meeting with a therapist can allow you to express your emotions freely, discover the motivations behind your emotional responses and practice coping techniques in a safe space. They can also recommend resources and activities to help you further.