Leading yourself to Inspire Others: The Introspective Leader
Last week I celebrated my 1-year anniversary of a very significant career move; making the leap from managing theatre charities (big fish, small pond) to working for Ernst & Young, supporting the Turnaround & Restructuring Strategy Practise (tadpole, giant lake).
I knew this career shift would pose personal challenges.
I wanted to make sure I gave off a good impression, someone the company would want to hold onto and nurture. And so - with a couple of new suits, a variety of coloured ties, multiple cuffed shirts and some polished shoes - I braced myself for my new world.
The result? Total introspection!
On stepping foot in EY, I realised that the architype leadership style that I had been cultivating in my head - the well-dressed, hierarchy-focused ‘commander’ - was not only rarely visible within the organisation but was often counter-productive to achieving the inspiring and authentic leadership that drives the company forwards.
This led me into a long and painful self-assessment.
What do I need to do to become to be a leader that would inspire people? Is my natural personality and social style going to be obstructive?
It was through the murky depths of these thoughts that I came across some words of inspiration from Simon Sinek:
Before we can stand out, we must first get clear on what we stand for.
This quote from Find Your Why: A Practical Guide for Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team unlocked a new way of thinking for me and a new pathway for my leadership journey.
Before building myself as a leader, I first needed to lead myself! I needed to take myself on a journey of discovery, understanding not only what motivates me but why it motivates me, digging deep into my own personality and, ultimately, having enough understanding to then take full and active responsibility for all my actions.
It was not about questioning whether my personality was good or appropriate for the organisation, but rather understanding why it was good and how it could help positively influence and inspire all of those around me.
It is hard to put into words what this journey felt and continues to feel like. It’s a mixture of ‘AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!’ and ‘WHOOAAAAA???!!!’ and ‘YEEEEHHHHHH!!!’ and ‘NOOOOOOOOO!!’ as every day poses questions that challenge the very foundations of who you are as a human being.
A couple of examples of these crazy moments include:
It was my first week into EY and I decided I wanted to build a new headcount forecast tool to help track movements through the financial year (as the business area didn’t have one that worked). I had a hundred and one other things on my plate so why did I get drawn to this project so early on and choose to stretch myself? On reflection I realised that I value momentum and development and so turned my hand to process improvement and change projects. It spoke to my why! I take responsibility for this decision and it has helped guide my choices going forwards, ensuring the work I do continues to speak to my why and allows me space to express myself positively.
After a few challenging meetings with a stakeholder, I realised that I was coming across as confrontational when I was trying to show passion. Not intentional, of course, but I was giving off the wrong impression and garnering poor results. I take responsibility for this and now actively work on ensuring that I am flexing my social style around other people and the environment I’m working in.
When things got busy, I was beginning to ‘tell’ people what to do and how. It was flagged to me by a colleague and I realised it was down to a fear of failure, that the short-term gratification of getting something done correctly outweighed the long-term efficiencies of giving these individuals the space to fail. I take responsibility for this and now work on offering this space to the people I work with and encouraging them through their own process of doing, however it differs from mine.
It continues to require vulnerability and a willingness to learn but, with a lot of hard work, I feel I have begun to form myself as an introspective leader that embodies their own sense of purpose and adapts to the unique individuals around them. Safe to say the ties are gone and the suits rarely get airtime now (though I still have a variety of polished shoes).
I make mistakes all the time (I probably made a few in this article…) but I pledge myself to constantly look at how I can improve.
I want my actions to inspire a culture around me where people are comfortable being themselves and not afraid to challenge those who’s approach negatively affects them.
If you work with me and you are reading this now here is my offer:
If you ever feel there is something I can do better to support you, call me out on it – I crave your feedback, I desire nothing more than to improve to benefit you.
I am thankful to be in an environment where individuality is celebrated, where self-development is championed, and where leaders, on every level of the organisation, understand the importance of constant introspection and growth to help inspire those around them.